so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
