i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
