The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
