So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
