Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
