P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
