I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
