"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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