I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
