Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
