Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
