when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
