you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
