I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
