Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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