you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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