I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
