careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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