I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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