I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
