i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
His nipple licking is glorious
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