new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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