People in love make me want to vomit
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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