4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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