I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
