i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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