ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I haven't been this sober since birth.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
