it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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