If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My first STD was from a foam party
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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