I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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