Screwed.edu
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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