I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
