we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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