So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
