..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
