I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Too much gin, very little bucket
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
