Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you would pick up someone in the library
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
