You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize