my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
