I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
