Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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