Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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