I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
