Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
