Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
