he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
What a dumb baby whore.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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