I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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