i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
