They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We have so much sex to catch up on
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
