Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
