If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
